


Self-Depreciation

by vamplight22



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bruce is a good dad, Dick is a good big brother, F/F, Family Feels, I Tried, Probably ooc, all the feels, batfam, damian is feeling things, even if he's a little emotionally constipated, first batfam fic, first time writing Tim Drake fic, he tries, steph/cass side pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 01:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12997062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamplight22/pseuds/vamplight22
Summary: Tim Drake is usually the punching bag for Damian, and occasionally Jason Todd. His brothers like to taunt him for fun. It's not so much fun when Tim starts agreeing with their taunts, and he isn't joking.Also could been seen as 5 times Tim Drake puts himself down + the 1 time his family doesn't let him.





	Self-Depreciation

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I am writing anything not only for Batman, but for the DC universe in general, just in case you're reading and thinking, "man, this is so out of character."
> 
> My bad. You've been warned.

The first time it happened no one thought much of it. Jason was being a dick, as usual, and Dick was just behaving like his namesake. Damian, for once, was not joining in, though from the smirk he was displaying, it obvious he was enjoying himself. 

They had come back from a night of patrolling and it was a rare moment where they all were recuperating together in the Batcave. Tim had a difficult night, after spending many days working on a project for WE and finishing his school work, he was, needless to say, exhausted. And it showed. He was in and out of focus all night and Red Hood, at some point, had to save him from a couple low level muggers. Which proceeded with Jason making fun of him for it. And Dick, being a kinder brother, only joined in with little taunts here and there. Tim was more surprised with Damian not joining in than anything. But he had been reprimanded by not only Dick, but Bruce as well for his constant nagging on Tim, so Tim assumed it was him attempting not to start anything. Again. (At least for now.)

It was meant to be fun and games (how could they possibly know how much Tim had been stretching himself out and wearing himself thin?) until Jason said, “Man, Tim, you’ve been slacking off lately.”

He had said it in such a friendly way, with a chuckle at the end, and Tim had been taking it all in, not feeling the need to rebuke. In fact, no need to rebuke whatsoever. So, he agreed.

“You’re right. I need to work on my skills a little more. Brush up on some combat techniques. Maybe work with the bo-staff more. Don’t need to sleep tonight probably, can spend some time sharpening instincts and…” Tim got quieter as he spoke and the smirk Jason was once wearing slipped off as Tim kept going. 

“Whoa,” he said, his hands coming up to calm the rattling kid, “I was messing, Replacement. No need to take it that far.”

“No, it’s fine. I needed that, I’ll see you guys in a bit, I need to brush up on some moves. Probably see you tomorrow for patrol.”

Jason hesitated, but Dick placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, knowing when Tim gets something in his head, there’s no point in attempting to reason with him. Though he wanted Tim to get some sleep, he knew the young man was good at pulling all-nighters and resting later. He figured tomorrow night he would sleep. The thought wouldn’t have been bad, if only he had known about the three all-nighters Tim had already been pulling. Possibly getting two hours of sleep (and that was because he fell asleep at the computer) within the time frame.

Dick led Jason and an oddly quiet Damian out of the Batcave and up to eat something that Alfred had prepared for them, thinking about bringing something down for Tim to eat, knowing he would most likely try to skip the meal. The only other glance they got of Tim afterwards was when dick went to bring his food, and when Jason saw Tim going back to the cave with a rather large mug of coffee, mumbling to himself about positioning and patience. It was a rare moment, but Jason felt some unease. Though he quickly shook it off and left the mansion, not wanting to spend too much time inside, having been relatively successful in avoiding Bruce as it was. 

…

The second time was Damian, who had been holding himself back from his usual taunting, so when it came out… it wasn’t too good. They were on patrol, on lookout at the docks for a shipment of drugs when Damian said something that Tim didn’t very much agree with, which stirred some trouble within the group. Jason was on the ground floor and he hissed into the coms about how loud they were being. Tim grumbled to himself while Damian blamed Tim for the ordeal, to which Tim retaliated. 

“Demon Spawn can you shut up, we’re actually trying not to get caught,” Tim seethed into the com. 

“I don’t know, Drake, will you realize that you are not a part of this family and leave?” It was meant to be taunting, it was how Damian worked. He was rude and didn’t understand feelings. And though Dick understood that, he knew when Damian was treading across the line. He even used his real name.

“Damian –” 

“You’re right.”

Whatever Dick was about to say was caught in his throat in a cough. Though they were divided in their positions, Tim was sure he knew exactly what face Dick was making, just by that sound. While Dick was choking, Jason spoke up. Damian was strangely silent.

“Did you just say that Demon was right?”

“Yeah, he is. And I’ll leave as soon as we get back to the cave for a mission report.”

“What!” Dick was done choking. 

“I’ve been meaning to say something about it for a while, but I found a place of my own. I’ve been meaning to move out for a while. Sorry, I wasn’t able to let you know in a different situation, but Robin is right.”

Damian said nothing. It was the first time Tim had used the Robin name in addressing him. Usually it was Demon, or other variations of that name. 

“But, you… you don’t believe everything he said. Right?” Dick was hesitant, and Damian would never admit to the pout that came out when he spoke of him while not referring to him directly. The disrespect. 

“I mean,” Tim didn’t finish.

“Tim!”

“Name,” Jason reprimanded Dick, then continued, “Replacement, you can’t possibly believe you don’t belong. Hell, after everything I did, that should be where I stand. But even I feel like there’s a spot for me, I mean, you were…”

“Robin?” Tim finished for him and Damian almost answered but bit his tongue. “I was Robin, but that’s over. And you were adored Jason, I was, as you said, a replacement. I think I’ve been there long enough. It’s time to move on.”

“But you still haven’t answered,” Dick spoke softly over the com, “do you believe you’re not part of the family?”

Tim didn’t answer, the silence stretching for a few silent, tense moments. Damian was about to say something when Tim was on the line again.

“Movement at the docks, move out.” 

It ended the conversation, for now, Dick thought to himself. He wasn’t going to let this go.

Though he wasn’t able to continue when they had arrived back at the mansion. Bruce had taken Dick when they returned and explained of a new mission he would need to take on, and had to leave for a few days. When he returned, Tim had already left. 

…

The third moment was at Tim’s apartment, when Dick decided to pay a visit, dressed as Nightwing and climbing through the window (because what other way is there to enter a building?). He had Oracle on the line because she wasn’t convinced that Tim agreed to whatever nonsense Damian was spewing. 

“Dick, you know there’s a door, right?” Her tone was amused but Dick waved her off. 

“It’s not the time for Nightwing to be entering anyone’s building through the front door. Besides, he wouldn’t let me in if I knocked.”

“Neither would I,” Barbara replied, laughing when she heard the undignified huffing Dick was letting out. 

He was in Tim’s kitchen and from the sound of it, Tim was just coming out of the shower. To wait it out, he started snooping through Tim’s kitchen, possibly to find some food.

“Man, how does this kid live? There’s barely any food in the fridge, and the only the coffee maker looks like it’s being taken care of.”

“Don’t touch it. You know how he gets when you touch his coffee,” Babs warned. Dick flinched at the thought.

“Yeah, I know better. Trust me.”

“The hell are you doing here?” Tim was standing at the entrance of his kitchen in a bathrobe, dripping wet. 

“Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” Dick asked after a beat. 

“I asked a question first,” Tim crossed his arms, clearly annoyed. At least he was acting like himself.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Dressed like Nightwing? What? Did you not think you can talk to me normally?” Tim crossed the kitchen to his counter where his coffee maker was, grabbing the ready coffee before transferring it into a thermos. Dick eyed his movements with a raised eyebrow. It was past 3 a.m. (which in hindsight was shitty time for him to come talk to the younger vigilante, but Tim just finished patrol so he knew he wouldn’t be asleep), and Tim should be at least trying to head to bed, if the bags under his eyes were any indication as to how long he hasn’t had a good rest. 

“Shouldn’t you, like, not be drinking coffee now? You did just get off patrol, I think you earned some rest.” 

Tim side-eyed the man, purposefully taking a long and loud sip, before moving to the island and sitting on the stool. 

“Don’t push him too hard, Dick.” He heard Bard on the com.

“Tim, I just want to know,” he thought about his next words carefully, “are you okay?” He settled with something simpler. And he really needed to know if he was.

“Fine, why?” Tim replied taking a sip from his thermos. 

“I just, I don’t know, it seems you’ve been… off? Lately,” he finished lamely, but he wasn’t sure how to go about the conversation. At least when concerning Tim. Dick was able to speak to Jason about his issues, years of issues with Jason had made it easier to bring certain things up. Dick knew how Jason would react to most of the things he said. Damian was the same way, Dick knew how he reacts to things and what to say to calm the boy and get him to open up. He knew Damian and knew how complicated the boy and his past is. 

He always thought it would be easier with Tim. He never thought he would have to deal with the complications of Tim, because he never thought Tim would be in this predicament. Which, now thinking about it, was a stupid thought in hindsight. He had taken something that meant so much to Tim and given it to Damian without speaking to the young man about it. He knew how that broke them and their relationship. And it was still rocky. 

“Well, I’m fine. No need to check in on me,” Tim stood, taking his cup with him, “you saw yourself in, you can see yourself out.”

“Tim, listen,” Dick began, not knowing where to go with that. 

“Dick, don’t push,” Barbara was on the com once again.

“Tim, I – I’m sorry,” he tried.

“For what, Dick? I’m not in the mood to go over feelings, especially not at this time. I have things I need to finish.” 

“Tim –”

“We’re done talking.”

“Tim, I know you’re mad about the Robin thing, choosing Damian, but –” 

“Dick!” Barb snapped, stopping him abruptly. 

“I don’t blame you,” Tim said, his back to Dick. “If I was in your position, I wouldn’t choose me either. I’m not skilled enough, even now, and I was not valuable to the team. I understand, no need to discuss anymore.”

“No, Tim, that’s not really why you think I didn’t pick you as Robin? Please tell me you don’t believe that, Timmy,” Dick was feeling desperate, but he didn’t know for what. 

“You can go, Dick. I need to put some clothes on and get back to work.” Tim walked out of the kitchen. Dick didn’t move until he heard the bedroom door slam shut. And he still wasn’t processing until Barbara started speaking into his ear. 

“What… was that?” 

Dick shook his head. He didn’t know. He really didn’t know.

… 

Over the next few weeks Tim was scarce, and when he made himself present, the team felt as if they had to walk on eggshells. Even Damian was careful around the vigilante, carefully picking his next words to use accordingly, which meant that the only interaction was when they were talking business or planning something on patrol.

Dick had spoken to Jason about the confrontation with Tim and Jason could not fathom what was happening, but kept some distance from the boy as well. Even stopped referring to him as “replacement” just in case. He was still patching up some old wounds between the two and didn’t want to do anymore damage. 

So, the fourth time it happened, it was Steph and Cass that were unprepared. After making their relationship known to the rest of the family, the girls took a trip together for a much-needed break and get-away from prying family members. They had gathered at the mansion for a family dinner curtesy of Alfred, because when Alfred says everyone is coming to dinner, then sure as hell everyone is coming to dinner. Bruce had even shown up, before leaving right after to deal with business for WE. The rest of the bats and birds joined in the family room for some catching up. 

“Morocco is beautiful!” Stephanie exclaimed, happily leaning on Cass. “The buildings, the culture. It was so different from Gotham, exactly what we needed.”

“Isn’t every place completely different from Gotham?” Jason asked. “I swear it’s like this city lives in a constant fog and once you leave then you can see the sun.”

Cass shrugged and Steph laughed, “Yeah, now that you mention it, kinda does feel like that sometimes. But, this city is still home to me.”

“I’m glad you two were able to enjoy yourselves though,” Barbara smiled at the two. 

“Me too, we brought back some amazing tea for you guys to try,” Steph clapped, “I’m so excited for you to try it Alfred.”

“As am I Miss Stephanie,” his smile was warm when returned. 

Stephanie directed her attention to Tim, “Of course Timmy won’t have any as nothing can replace his love for coffee.”

Thought she was smiling, it was a little strained. No one could miss the telltale signs that Tim was not taking care of himself. Even Bruce, with how distracted he was at dinner, sent him a double glance at his appearance. The circles under his eyes have deepened and it seems he’s lost more weight. He wasn’t eating or sleeping properly.

“Coffee will always be my number one love.”

“Obviously, Tim, sheesh. It’ll also be the number one cause of your death,” she meant it as joke.

“Well freaking finally, let the sweet release of death come, am I right?” Tim let out a pathetic chuckle, though trying to make it come off as a joke, no one at that point was buying it. And the tension was heightened. Though Stephanie was confused as to what was happening, a squeeze from Cass kept her from saying much.

“Jeez, Tim, it was a joke,” Jason said, a little awkward at the situation, not sure how to deal with someone when he usually on the side where Tim was. 

“Mine was too.”

“Was it?” Dick asked before he could stop himself. Barbara pinched his arm for speaking. 

“What does that mean?” Tim asked, defensively. 

“It just means he’s worried about how you’re taking care of yourself,” Barbara said, while Dick was rubbing his arm. “You don’t seem like you’re getting enough rest.”

“And you’ve been extra hard on yourself, man,” Jason added, “like more than usual. You always had this kicked puppy kind of thing on you, but now it’s more like a dying puppy.”

“I swear to God, it’s like you and Dick are blood related,” Barbara deadpanned, rubbing her forehead.

“Ah,” Tim snapped his fingers, “I’ve been worrying you.”

“Detective of the year, everyone,” Damian grumbled to himself, sinking in his seat after Barbara sent a glare his way.

“Hm, that’s not good, need to work on that,” Tim said standing and moving to put on his jacket. The rest stood as well, almost urgently. 

“Work on what, Tim?” Steph hesitantly asked. 

“I’m not doing a good job if you guys are worrying like this. Sorry about that guys,” he moved to the door, “I’ll see you later.”

There was prolonged silence when the door shut which was broken when Stephanie rounded on the inhabitants in the room. 

“What the hell was that?” She was gesturing to the door, her mind still unsure if she should run after him or not. Cass took Steph’s hand, worry lines creased her forehead. 

“We don’t really know what’s going on,” Babs said, leaning back in her wheelchair and rubbing her face. She was going over feed from Red Robins patrols over the last couple weeks to see if there was any incident that might have caused Tim to act this way, and nothing was showing up. It was grating on her nerves not to know what was causing this.

“He’s been acting like this for weeks and we don’t know what to do.” Dick was starting to feel tired, which was a side-effect it seems from watching Tim, watching how tired he looks all the time these days, it brings his mood down immensely. And he wanted to berate himself for even thinking like that, because his brother was hurting and here he was thinking how much of an inconvenience that is for him. Guilt pooled in his stomach at the thought. 

“If I may intervene,” Alfred stepped into the conversation, gaining their attention, “it seems young Master Timothy is going through some extreme self-depreciation.”

“You mean to tell me Drake has been acting this way all because he’s in some kind of self-pity party?” Damian’s features took on an expression of disgust. Dick would have to talk to him about insecurities and how people every day feel them and should not be looked down on by others. 

“Not self-pity Master Damian, self-depreciation. I believe Master Timothy has been dealing with this for years, although, as of late, they seem to have been taking a toll on the poor boy,” Alfred spoke as if he was explaining a patient’s well-being, but his eyes were what held worry. Enough so that the inhabitants of the room started feeling his worry. 

“Years?” Dick asked. 

“Master Timothy has always been hard on himself, as I’m sure you’re all aware of, but I am certain it goes down deeper than what we were thinking. And bottling emotions such as that and for as long as he was, they appear to be coming out as Master Timothy views himself. Instead of bottling them up, he is freely expressing what he truly believes everyone else feels about him.”

“He thinks we feel that way towards him?” Steph’s grip on Cass tightened, “I would never want Tim to die.”

“Perhaps that is what you think, but that may not be that case for Master Timothy. There are certain things Master Timothy goes through that he refuses to allow anyone access into. It is rather difficult to get any information of his well-being out of him,” Alfred sighed, looking weary and worn out, “now, come.” He ushered them, switching moods before the rest could process, into the kitchen. “It is late and I’m sure Miss Stephanie and Miss Cassandra are quite exhausted. I’ll prepare some calming tea and it is off to bed for all of you.”

Jason was about to make a quick escape when Alfred grabbed his jacket. 

“And where do you think you’re going Master Jason?”

“Um, I think I’ve had enough family intervention for the night.”

Alfred wagged his finger. 

“You will be staying the night Master Jason, I don’t want to hear any more peeps coming from you. Bruce will be taking over patrol tonight, the rest of you are off to bed. Your minds will be a lot clearer with rest.”

Jason, however grudgingly, did stay the night. 

…

When Bruce experienced Tim’s self-depreciation, it was the first time they had seen Bruce so visibly stunned. Unfortunately, none were able to completely enjoy the moment as they were also experiencing the same stunned silence as he was. The only one who was not uncomfortable with the situation, was Tim Drake. 

“What did you say?” Jason broke the silence just as Dick opened his mouth to speak. 

“I should have stayed dead. Or, at least, I shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place. There was a reason you said no the first time, right B? Shouldn’t have pushed so hard.”

“Are you,” Dick began, “regretting becoming Robin?”

“I don’t regret that, at least, for myself,” Tim shook his head, “I just regret thee connotations my Robin had for all of you.”

They were patrolling together, there had been news that some rival gangs were being riled up to start a turf war so the main location for gathering was at the East End District. Red Hood and Red Robin were taking Crime Alley, as Hood knew it like the back of his hand and Nightwing and Robin were taking the Bowery as those were the two areas that seemed to have the most tension for the war. Blackbat and Batgirl were on standby in case things got out of hand and Oracle was inspecting any illegal activity that could be taking place that would tip them off. 

Batman was waiting in the shadows watching over everything as per usual, keeping guard and avoiding attention. Of course, that didn’t work so well when Jason started joking about his death and how most of the family had been dead at one point or another. Whether it was real or fake. 

It was when Bruce snapped that they shouldn’t be talking about things like that (because it was still a sore spot for him to think about, he would just never admit it) that things spiraled down, and Tim let out his thoughts. The playful attitude Jason had been keeping melted away and he was thrown. Tim had just admitted he should have stayed dead, and though Jason would agree he should have as well (because of everything he did when he came back) there was no need for those thoughts now. He was in a better place. Hell, he was in a better place because of the family (he never really asked for, but totally did) that put him back together, and Tim had been a large part of it. He had forgiven him, Tim had forgiven him for nearly killing the boy and now that same boy that had saved him is basically saying he shouldn’t have been with them. 

“Drake, what the hell are you on? Now is not the time for this,” Damian’s annoyed tone broke into the coms. Though they could hear the underlying discomfort on the topic of discussion. He had also died and come back, and to say he was completely over it would be a lie. But he was managing. He thought Tim was as well, he assumed they were all getting the help they needed after coming back. He was wrong.

“Name,” Tim warned, “and nothing, really. I guess just spouting nonsense,” Tim attempted to play it off, taking on a lighter tone. But the damage was done. Bruce was now aware.

But… would that change anything? Dick’s mind worked overtime, Bruce lived with Tim for so long and he couldn’t see the effects of everything that had impacted the vigilante. Would he be able to change anything now that he was aware? 

“Tim, I,” Bruce started, his voice oddly soft, breaking to “no names on the field” rule. 

“Incoming,” it was interrupted by Tim, though. Who was apparently the only one keeping an eye on the scene. 

“Damn it.” Dick heard Barbara curse over the com, she was probably distracted by the conversation as well, not noticing the gangs moving out where was predicted. Though, it wasn’t everyday Bruce was involved or made aware of one of his family’s sufferings. Or, rather, not every day his voice took on that tone when referring to one of them. 

“We’re heading over,” Steph informed, oddly quiet throughout the conversation. She was probably one of the closest to Tim, what with their on and off relationship that ended up with both of them coming clean about their sexual orientation. Her voice was soft, with a hint of stiffness. 

They would put off the conversation, once again, but they had to bring it up soon. They had to confront the problem, even if Tim was heavily avoiding it, and would possibly agree with the statement: he is the problem to himself. Swallowing those thoughts, he focused on the fight. 

… 

The conversation came up in a way no one saw coming. 

“Get him to the med bay! Move,” Bruce was, as hard as it was for Damian to swallow, scared. Bruce, Batman, was afraid. He had known the man was capable of feeling. The sadness that consumed him when Tim died, when Dick died, when he died. He wasn’t there for Jason’s death, but he still the saw the effects of it on the man. 

Watching his father over Tim’s unmoving body, it instilled a fear in Damian he was not aware he could feel. And not just for his father, for Tim as well. And that’s probably what really worried him. 

There was trouble with Scarecrow at Burney District. Fear gas was being set off and causing a commotion, which called for the vigilantes. Police were blocking off the area and the situation was contained, unfortunately there was one officer that got hit with fear gas, and aimed his pistol at Batman. His bullet never reached Bruce, instead it was lodged in the side of a young Tim Drake, who quick to react to the situation. 

Damian was berating himself for missing something so simple, and Dick could tell. 

“Lil’ D, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t do anything,” Dick attempted to calm him. Damian was removed from the room and Dick was keeping him company as Alfred, Bruce, and, surprisingly, Jason, were taking care of Tim in the sick bay. 

“Drake was able to react, if he could then I should’ve,” he seethed, angrier at himself than he would like to admit. 

“Tim was at the spot to be able to see that, it was just by chance he saw it before anyone else did,” Dick reasoned. Damian fists curled tighter, digging into his palms. Stephanie and Cass were sitting across from them in the love seat, still in full bat attire, worry ghosting over their features heavily. Barbara was adjacent to them, her head down.

“Why did he jump in front then?” 

“What?” 

“Why did he jump in front of the bullet?” Damian raised his head, glaring at Dick, bringing up the question everyone was avoiding. “Everyone knows Batman has bulletproof armor, one measly bullet wouldn’t have even grazed him. So why did Drake step in front of the bullet?”

Damian felt the glare turn watery, but refused to turn away. It angered him that he was weak enough for the tears to come, but he could not help himself at that point. 

“Oh, Dami,” Steph started, standing and moving over to the boy. She stroked his cheek where a stay tear escaped, bringing him into a hug. He grit his teeth, tensing up against her touch. Cass was next, moving on to Damian’s other side and bringing both him and Steph into her hold. 

“Little brother,” she whispered into his ear and Damian buried his head into Stephanie’s shoulder. He refused to cry, but he could at least enjoy the love he was deprived of for so long. And Cass and Steph needed this as much as he did, so he allowed it. He unclenched his fists and went limp in their hold. 

Barbara took Dick’s hand into hers and his gaze fell onto her. He had tears of his own that he had been holding onto, and Barbara squeezed. Dick took her to the loveseat Steph and Cass abandoned and they curled into each other and waited. 

It was an hour later when Alfred came upstairs informing them of Tim’s condition. Though, he did stop to take in their positions before interrupting. The five had not moved from their spots and when Alfred cleared his throat, their gazes shot up so fast each of them cringed from soreness. He almost chuckled, rather choosing to keep the amused expression, the smile clear in his eyes.

“He will be alright.” It was as if the tension in the room evaporated and Steph finally began to cry. “The bullet was successfully removed, he will need to take it easy the next couple weeks. He will most likely not be happy about it, but may not patrol and he needs rest. He is extremely malnourished and has not been sleeping properly.”

Alfred sighed heavily. 

“What else, Alfred?” Dick asked, hand still in Babs. 

“The will most likely effect his already unstable mentality,” he said, “becoming useless to serve and protect. Unable to aid in battle.”

Barbara squeezed Dick’s hand and Dick nodded. 

“We can handle that,” she said, “besides, what better than to talk to someone who had experienced those feelings as well.”

Alfred nodded and signaled them to follow. They entered the sick bay apprehensively, finding Bruce and Jason on either side of Tim, who was so pale he could have blended into the bedsheets. Steph covered her mouth to keep from making any sound, and Cass put her arm around the girl for support. Though who the supper was for was unclear. 

Tim was awake, staring up at the ceiling. Dick and Jason exchanged a look, and he saw the stress building on the man. Jason had come far over the years since his resurrection, and Dick was proud he able to worry this much over someone he had once had the full intention on killing. Even if Tim was the first one that he had really opened up to and felt an understanding with. Dick realized that should have been insight to Tim’s mental state, if could sympathize with the man who making moved to end his life. 

They settled around the bed making sure not to startle the young vigilante who seemed to be ignoring them all. Dick wanted to break the silence, but Tim was the one that spoke first. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

Dick never felt so upset. 

“What are you angry for? Tim, what the hell do you think you should be apologizing for?” 

“I fucked up.” He never lowered his gaze from the ceiling and Dick ran a hand through his hair to calm down. 

“Listed Timbit,” Jason started, “you didn’t fuck up. That’s not even close to fucking up, and I should know. I’m the fuck up of the family.”

Bruce frowned at him, whether for the language or what was being said, Dick wasn’t certain, but it was clear to him now how fucked up (for lack of better term) his family really is. 

“No, you’re not Jason. I mean, you are fucked up, but you’re not a fuck up,” Tim said, “I’m sorry I keep making stupid mistakes and can’t hold my own. Damian has always been right, fuck, I don’t belong here.”

Damian was seething, “How dare you?” Dick raised his hands to calm the boy, Jason and Bruce went tense as if waiting for the attack, which wasn’t too unusual for Damian. The only ones who weren’t on edge were Tim and Cass.

“If you took all that I’ve been saying to heart, then you’re a bigger idiot then I thought you were.”

“Dami,” Dick tried, but one look at Damian’s eyes, he found himself lowering his hands and nodding. It was hard to get Damian to open up, and when he did, Dick would not get in the way. 

“You have earned your place in this family long ago, Drake, and I was… threatened by you when I arrived,” Damian practically spat the words. Tim was not the only one in shock at the words, finally facing someone in the room. Each of them adorned their own expression of shock.

“I was threatened because you were not blood related to father, but were more of his son then I was. You had taken over the company, running it smoothly, you have proven your detective skills not only by proving father was alive, but proving yourself to my grandfather. You are able to maintain the company, school, and our nightly activities, all while building and maintaining relationships with people,” Damian quieted at the last part, “something I tend to struggle with.”

Tim sat with his mouth hung open and eyes wide, and to be fair, that reaction was normal in this situation. 

“Dami,” Dick felt the smile and tear on his face, pride pouring off of him. 

“Shut it, Grayson. If any of you repeat anything I have said tonight I will make you swallow your own tongue,” the sour expression was back and he refused to meet Dicks gaze. Tim’s expression softened.

“Thanks, Dami,” he whispered.

When Bruce spoke, Tim was startled out of his stupor and fidgeted with the bed sheets. Though, stopped abruptly at his words.

“Tim, I’m sorry.”

Jason was gaping at the man, never believing he would hear those words from the emotionally constipated man. 

“I should have noticed you were hurting, you’ve done nothing but impress me over the years, from the moment you showed up at my door. You were so young and had so much potential I was afraid what this kind of like can do to you. I didn’t want you down the same path as –”

“Me,” Jason cut in, smirking.

“Or me,” Dick smiled. 

“Or me,” Bruce finished. He sighed, “I thought that I didn’t have to worry about you, when you proved how brilliant of a mind you are. But I seemed to have taken that as far as neglecting you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be better than that.”

Tim’s words got stuck in his throat, his hands shook. Jason took his hands in his. 

“You probably think you’re alone and have to face it all alone as well,” Jason whispered. “But you don’t, and we’re all guilty of thinking like that. But I’m sorry we weren’t able to see that you needed to hear it just as much we all did.”

Tim didn’t know he was crying until Stephanie was wiping his tears with a soft smile. 

“Hey,” she chuckled wetly, her own tears streaming.

“Hey,” he replied and dropped his head on her shoulder, allowing the feelings that have been drowning him to finally come to the surface. Damian nodded, knowing Stephanie’s shoulder is a good place to cry on (or to just lay your head, because Damian did not cry, how absurd).

Cass took Damian’s hand in hers and she smiled warmly at him, and he leaned onto her. It was not weak to feel, he reminded himself. It was not weak to love, he thought as he took in the room overflowing with that very feeling. 

Alfred smiled, wiping a silent tear away and headed to the kitchen to prepare a warm meal for the- his family. 

… 

Tim woke to find everyone asleep around his bed. It was probably four in the morning and his side hurt. Alfred silently made his way over to the boy. 

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Tim asked, adjusting his position to get more comfortable without waking Bruce or Jason who took up their sides of his bed, as Alfred administered his medication. 

“Much needed to be done, it seems,” Alfred kept a light tone and moved back after making sure everything was stable. Tim nodded, keeping the dark thoughts swirling in his mind at bay. “Master Timothy,” Alfred startled him out of his thoughts (he needed to get back to his sharp mind rather than the muddled mess it’s been), “I am quite happy to take care of anyone in this room without batting an eyelash. There is no need to worry about my wellbeing when you should worry about yours.”

“But, you also need rest Alfred,” Tim argued. 

“Yes, and I will get it. I make the time to rest, as well take care of my family,” Alfred sent a pointed look to Tim, who had enough decency to flush. “You have to learn to take care of yourself as well as others when living with this one,” he nodded to Bruce, who was faking sleep as Tim could see the smile rising on his lips.

He snorted quietly, not wanting to wake the rest of members. It’s been a long time since he genuinely laughed.

“Rest easy, Master Timothy,” Alfred coaxed, running a hand gently through Tim’s hair. “You’re safe.”

Tim leaned back, he had been shot and had a bullet removed from his side, felt he had ruined everything once again, had an intermission by every member of the bat-family, and he had never felt happier.


End file.
